updates
Monday, January 05, 2009;
okay i am lazy to paste all here.since i dun find all funny.248 Ways to Annoy People
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
2.Name your dog "Dog."3. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."4. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training." 5. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol. (disinfectant)
6. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 7. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. (laoni is gd at this)
8. Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date. 9. Repeat everything someone says as a question. 10. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.11. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now." 12. Light road flares on a birthday cake. 13. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read. 14. Ask people what gender they are.15. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 16. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 17. Listen to 33RPM records at 45RPM speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing." 18. Mow your lawn with scissors.19. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." 20. Select the same song on the restaurant jukebox fifty times.21. Make appointments for the 31st of February. 22. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.23. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
24. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy." 25. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 26. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. 27. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.28. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.29. Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public consisting of "Beeeep bip bip beeeep bip.." 30. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
31. Begin all your sentences with "Ohh la la!" (eg. "Ohh la la! My dog just died.")32. Pay for your dinner with coins. 33. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.34. Leave tips in Rupiah.35. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.36. Pronounce people's name wrong every time you meet them. 37. Never make eye contact. 38. Never break eye contact. 39. Say "okay, you're gay" to anything someone says. 40. When in a conversation, look out the window, then say "Wait, start over. I wasn't paying attention." 41. Say to people, "Did you wear deodorant today?"42. Call into work and tell them you have something better to do today. 43. Buy goldfish and ask the clerk if they come with chips. 44. Sample every flavor of ice cream and tell the clerk what you don't like about each one.45. Disagree strongly with everything anybody says. 46. Throw stones at people walking past your house.47. Whenever anyone says something, laugh loudly as if they have just told and extremely funny joke. 48. Phone McDonald's and try to make a reservation for that evening. 49. Phone random numbers and tell them you are holding their daughter hostage.50. Pretend you have gone completely deaf. 51. Speak so quietly that people always have to get you to repeat it. 52. Loudly recite people's most embarrassing secrets in restaurants. 53. Wear your cap backwards and say "Yo, wazzup?" a lot.54. Take photos of people walking down the street and then run away. 55. Down a can of Coke in one drink and then burp loudly. 56. When walking down a main road, act like a drunk.57. Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing."
58. Throw newspapers back at paperboys. 59. Tell people their zip is down when they're wearing sweat pants.60. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.61. Walk up to random strangers insisting you are family.62. When a cop pulls you over, when they step up to your car, drive forward slowly and make them walk. Especially if it's raining.
63. When at an ATM, try to have a conversation with it, or pretend it stole your card. (This works best if there's a line behind u.) 64. Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")65. Call every girl you know "dude". 66. Call 911 and breathe heavily. 67. Take a shower. Feel guilty. Give it back.
68. Go to McDonalds and ask for a BK Whopper.69. Order a pizza and ask them if they can "please put the crust on top this time" in an exasperated voice.70. While walking make car noises loudly (Such as changing gears).71. Go up to a someone and say, "Are you annoyed by irrelevant questions?" And then walk away very quickly.72. Click your mechanical pencils or your pens during a test in school.
73. Pretend you are invisible. 74. Convince people you are deaf and talk in an incredibly phony sign language. 75. Spend all day at a fast food restaurant and see how long it takes before you have to pay for your "free" refills.76. Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?" 77. While going down in an elevator scream, "AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" for no apparent reason. 78. Whenever someone finishes a sentence say, "And then what happened?" 79. Send people annoying chain forwards with outrageous consequences like "If you don't send this to 300 people in 4 seconds you will die instantly" and then insist that it is true and it happened to your uncle. 80. Look at your hand in amazement and say, "Whoa, I never knew I had this!"
81. When driving with companions in the car, every few seconds slam on the brakes and insist that a squirrel ran in front of you.
82. Whenever anybody says anything to you. Respond by saying, "I know." 83. Walk around with a plastic sword and shield and tell strangers "I must avenge the death of my father." 84. Scotch tape your door as an Anti-theft Device.85. Super Glue coins to floors.86. Put the wrong date and year on the papers you hand in to your teachers. 87. Get two cell phones and talk to yourself on them in front of other people.
goodbye ; 1/05/2009 12:33:00 AM
